So, I came across this article...and it made me cringe.
http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5hTsIXq7-2_ZUOG7kSZWKyghtSMAA
Apparently, one-third of women in America check facebook before going to the bathroom, washing their face or brushing their teeth in the morning. I started thinking, do I do that? Have I done that? Would I do that? The answers are no, yes, and well...maybe.
I know you don't want to hear about my sleeping habits, but I need to give you a little background on my blackberry and bedroom logistics. My blackberry sleeps across the room from me on my desk. I did this with the hopeful (and turns out, wrong) notion that I would wake up, get up and turn it off, thereby prompting me to be chipper, awake and ready for the day.
FAIL.
The only thing that resulted from that bright idea was me having several stubbed, bruised and close to broken toes by tripping over evil, wooden things because of my sleepy half-closed eyes. Of course, the only thing that would make it better was to get back in bed and snuggle up in my cozy comforter and pillows. The best laid plans...
But, I digress...
So, my blackberry sits there all night chirping away, and flashing its little red light letting me know that someone or something has decided to leave me an email or text message gift. Have I checked it first thing? Yes. Disclaimer: It was only because I was either a)expecting a time sensitive email or b) looking for the latest election coverage. Honestly, I do not check facebook before I get to work. Wait, did I just admit that I check facebook at work? Usually, sometime between blowing drying the hair and finding a stale granola bar to eat for breakfast, I will check any emails or texts that the blackberry santa brought me during the night.
Sad? A little. Obsessive? I don't think so.
I have always wanted to be able to go on a weekend trip, heck even a day trip, and leave my phones at home. Not just in the car, turned off, but at home where I cannot be bothered with them the entire time I am away. Sadly, I have not been able to accomplish this, yet. The very thought of it makes me sweat, my stomach turn quesy and my mind race with thoughts of missed calls, important messages and not being the first one to know the latest, greatest breaking news.
Notice I said "yet." I will do it. I will conquer my fear/addiction and forego the blackberry to have some peaceful time with myself or with friends.
Someday.
For now, I'll bandage my toes, keep my phone charged and dream of sugarplums (emails) dancing in my head.
7.13.2010
7.09.2010
Since When?
Did my hair like to be gray?
Did my back start hurting when I sat too long?
Did I start considering how late it was when I called my friends?
Did I start saying things like "those kids are just too young to be getting married?"
Was I 10 years out of high school?
Did I start worrying about my retirement account?
Do I rarely go out on Friday night because it's a work day and I'm just too tired because I've been up so long?
Do I have a "skin care regimen?"
Did I start complaining about the prices at the grocery store?
Did I start complaining about the price of gas?
Did the weather become my go to conversation starter?
Have I felt the need to admonish children (even if I don't know them) when they are misbehaving in public?
Have I driven around trying to find the closest parking spot to the door?
Do I have a specific day and time to go buy groceries?
Did all my high school friends get married and have babies?
Did I have a regular dry-cleaning schedule?
Did exercise become about health instead of vanity?
Do I have blog posts about becoming an adult and how weird it is?
DID I BECOME AN ADULT?!
Did my back start hurting when I sat too long?
Did I start considering how late it was when I called my friends?
Did I start saying things like "those kids are just too young to be getting married?"
Was I 10 years out of high school?
Did I start worrying about my retirement account?
Do I rarely go out on Friday night because it's a work day and I'm just too tired because I've been up so long?
Do I have a "skin care regimen?"
Did I start complaining about the prices at the grocery store?
Did I start complaining about the price of gas?
Did the weather become my go to conversation starter?
Have I felt the need to admonish children (even if I don't know them) when they are misbehaving in public?
Have I driven around trying to find the closest parking spot to the door?
Do I have a specific day and time to go buy groceries?
Did all my high school friends get married and have babies?
Did I have a regular dry-cleaning schedule?
Did exercise become about health instead of vanity?
Do I have blog posts about becoming an adult and how weird it is?
DID I BECOME AN ADULT?!
7.08.2010
I know a girl...
"...she puts the color inside of my world, but she's just like a maze, where all the walls continually change."
Hopefully by then end of this post, you will get the title and subtitle of this post. If not, read John Mayer's Daughters lyrics. You'll see.
I want to start out saying that this is not a sad post. It's not meant to be depressing or to envoke sympathy. It's just what has been on my mind, and always is this time of year.
June and July are bittersweet months for me. My Daddy and cousin both died on June 19, 15 years apart. In 1989, on June 19, it was Father's Day. I was six and lost the most important man in my life. My dearly departed grandfather, would have had a birthday on June 22. He raised me until I was 14, when he passed away. My dad would have been 50 yesterday. The sweet of bittersweet comes from the fact that I love summertime and I have many great memories to cherish.
I was my daddy's little princess, my cousin Ryan's annoying, tattle-telling, irritating "little" (I was 5 months younger and was constantly reminded of it) sister whom he fought with and for; and constantly reminded me of how proud he was and how much he loved me. I was my grandfather's pride and joy. He was sure I would change the world someday.
These three men loved me fiercely and I wantto tell you how their lives...and deaths have affected me.
I was barely six when my daddy died. I have exactly four pictures of the two of us. They were all happy, loving pictures filled with mutual admiration. To him, I was the funniest, prettiest, smartest, most talented, greatest thing to ever be born. I remember a huge, fun-loving, cuddly, and kind man who could throw me in the air with the greatest of ease. Unfortunately, at 29, he was still a kid himself and was taken from me way too soon. I still have great memories of him. I have stories from family and friends; and of course the one thing that can still make my grandmother's heart ache for her baby boy even after all these years - my daddy's piercing blue eyes.
When it came to Ryan, I was gray and he was all the colors of the rainbow. He was rambunctious, fun, mischieveous, and, well...wild. I was a rule-follower, a worrier, a loner, and someone who played it safe. We never admitted it to each other, but I'm pretty sure that each of us wished we had just a little piece of the other in us. We fought, hated each other, screamed, yelled, and went silent. But, before night fell, one of us would undoubtedly throw our arms around the other and say "sorry, you know I love you like a brother/sister and didn't mean what I said." He was a force to be reckoned with, and my heart aches for him more than anyone. He was the first person I lost as an adult. I had to deal with real, grown-up emeotions and heart break. His death is the reason I questioned my faith and was comforted my the answers I received. I never doubted my faith again.
My grandfather had an eighth grade education. He worked extremely hard to provide for his family. He could hardly write and learned to read by studying the newspaper every day. He loved current events and politics. He gave up a leisurely retirement to raise me. He taught me everything I know about driving, work ethic, the value of an education and staying grounded in your morals and values. If I had to choose...I'd say he is my hero.
It's interesting how the three men that have meant the most to me and have influenced me the most, were gone before I became an adult, and learned to appreciate the lessons they taught me. All I can do now is make them proud and do my best to imitate every good thing they represented.
"...Oh, you see that skin? It's the same she's been standing in, since the day she saw him walking away. Now she's left, cleaning up the mess he made. So Father's be good to your daughters."
Hopefully by then end of this post, you will get the title and subtitle of this post. If not, read John Mayer's Daughters lyrics. You'll see.
I want to start out saying that this is not a sad post. It's not meant to be depressing or to envoke sympathy. It's just what has been on my mind, and always is this time of year.
June and July are bittersweet months for me. My Daddy and cousin both died on June 19, 15 years apart. In 1989, on June 19, it was Father's Day. I was six and lost the most important man in my life. My dearly departed grandfather, would have had a birthday on June 22. He raised me until I was 14, when he passed away. My dad would have been 50 yesterday. The sweet of bittersweet comes from the fact that I love summertime and I have many great memories to cherish.
I was my daddy's little princess, my cousin Ryan's annoying, tattle-telling, irritating "little" (I was 5 months younger and was constantly reminded of it) sister whom he fought with and for; and constantly reminded me of how proud he was and how much he loved me. I was my grandfather's pride and joy. He was sure I would change the world someday.
These three men loved me fiercely and I wantto tell you how their lives...and deaths have affected me.
I was barely six when my daddy died. I have exactly four pictures of the two of us. They were all happy, loving pictures filled with mutual admiration. To him, I was the funniest, prettiest, smartest, most talented, greatest thing to ever be born. I remember a huge, fun-loving, cuddly, and kind man who could throw me in the air with the greatest of ease. Unfortunately, at 29, he was still a kid himself and was taken from me way too soon. I still have great memories of him. I have stories from family and friends; and of course the one thing that can still make my grandmother's heart ache for her baby boy even after all these years - my daddy's piercing blue eyes.
When it came to Ryan, I was gray and he was all the colors of the rainbow. He was rambunctious, fun, mischieveous, and, well...wild. I was a rule-follower, a worrier, a loner, and someone who played it safe. We never admitted it to each other, but I'm pretty sure that each of us wished we had just a little piece of the other in us. We fought, hated each other, screamed, yelled, and went silent. But, before night fell, one of us would undoubtedly throw our arms around the other and say "sorry, you know I love you like a brother/sister and didn't mean what I said." He was a force to be reckoned with, and my heart aches for him more than anyone. He was the first person I lost as an adult. I had to deal with real, grown-up emeotions and heart break. His death is the reason I questioned my faith and was comforted my the answers I received. I never doubted my faith again.
My grandfather had an eighth grade education. He worked extremely hard to provide for his family. He could hardly write and learned to read by studying the newspaper every day. He loved current events and politics. He gave up a leisurely retirement to raise me. He taught me everything I know about driving, work ethic, the value of an education and staying grounded in your morals and values. If I had to choose...I'd say he is my hero.
It's interesting how the three men that have meant the most to me and have influenced me the most, were gone before I became an adult, and learned to appreciate the lessons they taught me. All I can do now is make them proud and do my best to imitate every good thing they represented.
"...Oh, you see that skin? It's the same she's been standing in, since the day she saw him walking away. Now she's left, cleaning up the mess he made. So Father's be good to your daughters."
6.14.2010
I was made for sunny days...
This is officially my new favorite "song of summer."
I know, I know the "experts" (and by experts I mean the evening DJ on 107.7) say that it is Katy Perry's California Gurls. The following are the reasons I disagree with this prediction:
1. The video is atrocious. Two words: cupcake boobs. She is in a Willy Wonka wannabe candyland dancing around licking ice cream cones. No thank you.
2. Girls is not supposed to be spelled gurls.
3. While Snoop Dogg will always have a special place in my heart (Gin and Juice has special memories for me and no I will not tell what they are); he completely let his standards fly out the window with this special appearance.
4. I admit, the one about kissing a girl was kind of catchy. I could even handle the hot and cold and Vegas one, but this is the fourth one in a row that sounds the exact same as all of the aforementioned! Creativity people!
5. These lyrics: "Bikinis, zuchinis, martinis. No weenies. Just a king and a queen-ie." I'm not even sure what to say about this one. What do zuchinis have to do with Claifornia and summer and the beach?
I think five reasons are enough. I'm sure the Weepies won't be winning a grammy any time soon; but it is mellow, catchy, happy and you can actually understand the lyrics. That's good enough for me.
I originally intended this blog to be about how even though I complain about it being so hot, I really didn't mind the sun because it was better than cloudy, rainy, dreary days...thus, "I was made for sunny days." It turned into a musical review. I'm sorry. I do realize I'm not a music critic. Next time, I'll stick to the completely off the wall randomness that seems to find me on a daily basis.
6.13.2010
A Dedication
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they shall be comforted.
Matthew 5:4
6.09.2010
Going to the chapel and I'm gonna get....NOT!
"Guys: a word of advice. Marry pretty women or ugly ones. Short ones or tall ones. Blondes or brunettes. Just, whatever you do, don't marry a woman with a career."
I read the above statement in an op-ed on the Forbes website one day. The columnist states in his article that women with careers are more likely to get divorced than those who work inside the home. Then, they defined the definition of a "career girl:" She has more than a high school diploma, works outside the home more than 35 hours per week and makes above $30,000 per year. I'm not knocking the opinion. In fact, statistically, it is probably true. But, is the reason really that the women have careers and are ambitious or is the point more that we are in a borderline recession, or that couples are trying to juggle careers, kiddos, bills, and staying happy in their marriage?
Times are tough...even for the single girl. I have often wondered if my independence throws guys off. Probably not. It's probably more my tendency to be co-dependent, the extra hormones God lavished upon me that makes me cry at the most unexpected moments, and my need for perfection. Just kidding...sort of. Seriously though, I sometimes feel like the older I get, the more set in my ways I become, and the more my career progresses, the less likely I am to find a guy who appreciates all of those things. As it so happens, I am actually really enjoying those all of those things, but I wonder if it makes me less of a hot commodity. Or, maybe it's the exact opposite. Maybe it's actually helping me weed out the guys who would never have appreciated those things in the first place. I really like that thought! It has taken about ten or so years to get there, but I think I finally am starting to believe all my friends and family ,who, during breakups told me "he was never good for you anyway," or "you will find someone who really appreciates you."
So, I guess the point if this rant and my reference to the article is that I am okay with people like the journalist who say that men should steer clear of successful women. I will always want to be ambitious, independent and a bit stubborn. I will debate you respectfully, rationalize unrational points, and pump my own gas. I'll still allow you to get my drink, pull out my chair and hold the door open for me, however. There are just some gentlemanly gestures you can't turn down.
I read the above statement in an op-ed on the Forbes website one day. The columnist states in his article that women with careers are more likely to get divorced than those who work inside the home. Then, they defined the definition of a "career girl:" She has more than a high school diploma, works outside the home more than 35 hours per week and makes above $30,000 per year. I'm not knocking the opinion. In fact, statistically, it is probably true. But, is the reason really that the women have careers and are ambitious or is the point more that we are in a borderline recession, or that couples are trying to juggle careers, kiddos, bills, and staying happy in their marriage?
Times are tough...even for the single girl. I have often wondered if my independence throws guys off. Probably not. It's probably more my tendency to be co-dependent, the extra hormones God lavished upon me that makes me cry at the most unexpected moments, and my need for perfection. Just kidding...sort of. Seriously though, I sometimes feel like the older I get, the more set in my ways I become, and the more my career progresses, the less likely I am to find a guy who appreciates all of those things. As it so happens, I am actually really enjoying those all of those things, but I wonder if it makes me less of a hot commodity. Or, maybe it's the exact opposite. Maybe it's actually helping me weed out the guys who would never have appreciated those things in the first place. I really like that thought! It has taken about ten or so years to get there, but I think I finally am starting to believe all my friends and family ,who, during breakups told me "he was never good for you anyway," or "you will find someone who really appreciates you."
So, I guess the point if this rant and my reference to the article is that I am okay with people like the journalist who say that men should steer clear of successful women. I will always want to be ambitious, independent and a bit stubborn. I will debate you respectfully, rationalize unrational points, and pump my own gas. I'll still allow you to get my drink, pull out my chair and hold the door open for me, however. There are just some gentlemanly gestures you can't turn down.
6.04.2010
Brick by Brick
*A big thank you to Iggy Pop for the title of this post. I had forgotten about you until I came across a long forgotten itunes playlist. It made me happy.
I don't really want to be the person who has a blog to tell about what I've done this weekend, or how my yard needs mowing or that I really need to go grocery shopping. Not that I don't love those kinds of blogs. I have plenty of friends whose blogs I read and love that go into their live's details. I just don't think my life is that exciting, so I try (emphasis on try) to just convey some thoughts I have rambling around in my head. This one, however, will focus on my week.
First thing, I love Riverfest. I joined the committee this year and had the time of my life. No sleep. Lots of walking. More drinking. Awesome music. Festival food. New friends. Exhaustion... Four days of non-stop laughing, crazy heat, tons of people and great musical acts made me glad to call Little Rock home.
Second thing, I'm sad the Delta Leadership Institute is over. I had such an amazing experience meeting new people, making new friends, gaining a new respect for the Delta, and learning a lot about myself. I must admit, at first, I may have gone into these leadership programs thinking this would be a nice addition to my resume. Thankfully, what it really became, was a nice addition to my life. I not only learned about the Delta and DRA,but I learned how to work as a team, how to give of yourself even when you don't really feel you can, and how to learn from others that you never thought you could.
These activities have made me realize that I actually do call Little Rock home. Little by little, I have built a life here and I finally have realized that I am part of the community. From joining organziations like Riverfest, Junior League, Leadership Little Rock, and Delta Leadership Institute to building a career, buying a house, attending graduate school and church; and making new friends. Prescott will always be my first home where I learned, well, everything about who I am and want to be. But, Little Rock is definitely the place where I am learning to be an adult and to pursue those goals and dreams that I formed in a small southern town.
Sidenote: I started this blog last week and never got finished (go figure). Since then, I have put another notch in my belt of adulthood...I paid off my car. Those payments seemed endless. Anyway, I can now officially say that I own my own car.
I don't really want to be the person who has a blog to tell about what I've done this weekend, or how my yard needs mowing or that I really need to go grocery shopping. Not that I don't love those kinds of blogs. I have plenty of friends whose blogs I read and love that go into their live's details. I just don't think my life is that exciting, so I try (emphasis on try) to just convey some thoughts I have rambling around in my head. This one, however, will focus on my week.
First thing, I love Riverfest. I joined the committee this year and had the time of my life. No sleep. Lots of walking. More drinking. Awesome music. Festival food. New friends. Exhaustion... Four days of non-stop laughing, crazy heat, tons of people and great musical acts made me glad to call Little Rock home.
Second thing, I'm sad the Delta Leadership Institute is over. I had such an amazing experience meeting new people, making new friends, gaining a new respect for the Delta, and learning a lot about myself. I must admit, at first, I may have gone into these leadership programs thinking this would be a nice addition to my resume. Thankfully, what it really became, was a nice addition to my life. I not only learned about the Delta and DRA,but I learned how to work as a team, how to give of yourself even when you don't really feel you can, and how to learn from others that you never thought you could.
These activities have made me realize that I actually do call Little Rock home. Little by little, I have built a life here and I finally have realized that I am part of the community. From joining organziations like Riverfest, Junior League, Leadership Little Rock, and Delta Leadership Institute to building a career, buying a house, attending graduate school and church; and making new friends. Prescott will always be my first home where I learned, well, everything about who I am and want to be. But, Little Rock is definitely the place where I am learning to be an adult and to pursue those goals and dreams that I formed in a small southern town.
Sidenote: I started this blog last week and never got finished (go figure). Since then, I have put another notch in my belt of adulthood...I paid off my car. Those payments seemed endless. Anyway, I can now officially say that I own my own car.
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